A New Yorker Trapped in SoCal Part 2

My office job just moved from 5 minutes from my house to 25 minutes; well, 25 minutes on a good day. Southern California traffic is so... moronic. Everyday at the exact same time, as if coordinated by the masses, traffic comes to a stand still as the exact same place. Guess who hits that moron traffic everyday now? Yours truly.


Solid proof that I was born to be a New Yorker:


Instead of acting retarded or high like everyone else while stuck in traffic, I yell. I yell like a true New Yorker does. I tell people how idiotic they are. I ask "Why?" and "Really?" over and over. I say things like, "Honestly! Everyday?!" This is what my morning commute is like on a daily basis.


Now let's examine Kylie in a different setting... New York.


The morning rain is softly addressing my apartment windows as if the two have been friends since birth. My alarm goes off with a nice gentle tune and I gracefully roll over and stretch my arms over my head. It's pretty chilly, but it's okay, I'm wearing long johns.


I make my way to my tiny little apartment bathroom as I rub the sleep from my tired eyes. It's another beautiful day in my city and it's time to get ready for work. I take my time putting on my makeup and doing my hair--since it's nice and rainy, I'll keep my hair straight today. I select an appropriate, yet fashion-forward outfit from my large collection of Theory clothes and slip on my favorite gray boots.


My morning cardio consists of my walk down the stairwell and to the subway station (hopefully it's only a few blocks from my place.) I slide my card and wait for the next train to come speeding towards me; it arrives with a delightful gust of wind--I hop on.


From this point until my stop I have time to read one of my New Yorkers or just relax with my zen breathing techniques. ("Breathing in, I am aware that I am breathing in.")


I arrive at my stop and walk out to greet another day at work.


Notice how painless this process is? Notice how there are no moronic weirdos braking for no reason? Notice how there is no possible way for a subway to get stuck in traffic and therefore cause it's passengers to revolt with a horrible riot?


This morning on my way to the office, I was the riot. Yes, I am a one person riot people.


For all of the people who cause traffic on my commute:


...


Thank you.


Thank you for only serving the purpose of making me realize how much I need my city. All I can do is work myself to the bone to get where I need to be... and with two jobs working 7 days at 65 hours a week--I will get there.