Utterly Apalled

In life, we often have to make tough decisions. This weekend, I had to make a decision concerning my finances. Although I do not have to pay rent right now, I still have expenses and lately a lot of unexpected ones have come up. Up to this point, I have been notorious for not knowing how to manage my money well--mostly because I have never had to. I have worked since I was of age to, but somehow my money seems to quickly disappear out of my bank account. To be completely honest, I'm probably wearing half the paychecks I have ever earned... on my feet of course. However, despite evidence to the contrary, because I have had a clear goal (NYC) for the past few months, I have learned to put large chunks of money away into a savings account. I then make it a point to forget that money exists until the appropriate time. I feel like having something to drive me makes me more conscious of how I use my paycheck.


A while back, I discovered an item I thought would be perfect as a wedding gift for my sister. When I decided I should purchase it, I was in much different financial condition than I am now. It was about a month ago, and I had not taken into account that Christmas was coming. I kept putting the expense off because it was a large amount of money and I needed to take care of more important things. My car had been dying on the freeway for months and it was finally in the shop for repairs. I worried that it would require a large amount of money to get it fixed, so I made sure I held onto a chunk of it so that I would not be too far in the hole if that happened. About a week after I got my car back, I found out that my best friend since first grade is going through something that can only be described as life-changing. She lives about seven hours away in Berkeley, CA, so I immediately made the decision to make the flight up to visit her as soon as I could manage it. Meanwhile, Christmas looms ahead and I have yet to buy a single present. It's pretty obvious that something has to give. So I inform the entity holding the item for me that I will probably not be financially able to buy it after all and send my regrets.


Upon hearing this news, this person got completely out of hand and tried chewing me out like it would help the situation. I don't know why I feel the need to write about this, but I'm assuming it has something to do with the fact that the entity never behaved this way towards me in the past month. It feels like despite my efforts to help this person in other ways, I was taken for granted and only seen as a wad of cash.


It is utterly offensive that a person would not be able to understand my situation whether I explain it in detail or not. It just goes to show that the saying I mentioned in an earlier blog is true: In order to reach your goals, you must learn to block out the negative and tune into the positive.


Let this be a lesson: Never expect more out of a person because you will often be disappointed by how human they actually are.