Constantly Searching

Every now and then I get the sudden urge to change my life completely. I start to realize that I have fallen into a routine of some sort and, becoming frustrated, my mind begins to convince me that I'm meant for something else. I've always thought that I was meant for a life of adventure and surprises. I've always known somewhere inside of me that I'm not like everyone else and I don't want to be. I want to tell stories to the world about people and places and food and culture and anything and everything else I can discover in this world. I want to take it all in and help to somehow share it with the world.

I recently met a couple from Germany who was staying at the same Bed and Breakfast in New Jersey as Julio and I. I was so curious and interested in finding out about their lives, what brought them to visit New York and the United States, what food do they enjoy most from home, how they learn to speak English so effortlessly... Something about the interaction with these people sparked something in me and at one point, I made a comment that my husband later brought back to my attention. I said, "There's a bigger world out there than just America." I didn't say it to prove how smart or worldly I thought I was, I just said it because it came to me. And I believe it.

Somehow it seems like people get so involved in their own lives and their own routines and their own selves that they don't open their eyes and see that there are millions of other beings out there in this universe that are chasing after something as well. Or maybe they aren't. Maybe a lot of other people have just settled in to what they have and given into that routine and that life. However, I'd like to think that there are a lot of people out there actively pursuing something--anything. I'd like to believe I'm not the only one who feels destined for adventure and experience. I'd like to believe that the world has been waiting and I need to just seize the day, have at it, and get this show on the road.

Prithee, My Dear, Why Are We Here?

We sat in our tree eating Hostess cupcakes and spying on the boys next door. It was such a big deal if her mom let us venture out of sight around the block. We walked together, content just to talk. We spent so much time together that people thought we were related. They would call us sisters although we looked nothing alike. It might have been the way we read each others minds or how we would throw our heads back and giggle in unison.

We grew up, but I can’t say it was too fast.

In high school, we were so eager to leave—and we did…often. We would sneak out and hop into her clunky old Mazda truck. We would head out of town going as fast as we could on the freeway. (It could barely reach 60mph.) We loved it! We loved how the whole truck shook when it went over 50mph—I guess we didn’t realize we were actually in danger. We would drive through the desert giggling and singing obscure songs no one else knew. We would spend the entire day wandering because our journeys were always much more interesting than our destinations.

Those times are behind us now, but our friendship is not. Although she has gone to follow her dreams, I can still remember her giggling with me up in that tree as we talked about things we knew we could get in trouble for. I still remember putting on those special songs and serenading each other in that shaky truck. We talked about these dreams often, but now for her they are a reality and I could not be more proud of who she has become.

I’m not too far away from reaching my goals either; I look to her for inspiration and support. I know we will both make it where we want to be. No matter how dangerous the road gets, we remember that our journey may well be the most interesting, yet taxing, part.